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What is your Assertiveness Score?

Updated: Jul 25, 2023

Assertiveness is a valuable skill that empowers individuals to express their thoughts, needs, and boundaries effectively, without being too aggressive or too passive.

Finding that sweet spot is not always easy, here is a test to help you identify your level of assertiveness:

1️⃣ When faced with conflicting opinions, you:

a) Often stay silent to avoid confrontation

b) Express your viewpoint while respecting others' perspectives

c) Dominate the conversation, dismissing opposing opinions

2️⃣ How do you handle requests that exceed your capacity?

a) Frequently take on more than you can handle, even at the expense of your well-being

b) Politely decline or negotiate alternatives

c) Delegate tasks to others without considering their availability or capabilities

3️⃣ In social settings, how comfortable are you expressing your preferences?

a) Rarely voice your preferences, yielding to others' choices

b) Express your preferences while remaining open to compromises

c) Insist on your preferences without considering others' input

4️⃣ When someone interrupts or disrespects you, how do you respond?

a) Tend to remain quiet and let it slide

b) Firmly but respectfully address the issue

c) React aggressively or defensively

5️⃣ How do you handle criticism or feedback?

a) Often take it personally and feel defensive

b) Listen to it objectively and consider it for self-improvement

c) Dismiss or ignore feedback without reflecting on its validity

6️⃣ How comfortable are you setting boundaries in relationships?

a) Struggle to establish clear boundaries, often allowing others to take advantage

b) Communicate them assertively and enforce them when necessary

c) Rarely set boundaries, expect others to intuitively respect them

7️⃣ In decision-making processes, how involved are you?

a) Often let others make decisions, deferring to their judgment

b) Actively participate, voicing your opinions and seeking consensus

c) Dictate decisions without considering others' input


Assign points to each answer:

A: 1 point

B: 2 point

C: 3 points

Add up your points to find your assertiveness level.

  • 7–12: You’re uncomfortable expressing your needs and wants. You avoid conflict and are concerned with the judgements of others. You should work on losing the fear of expressing your needs and desires.

  • 13–18: You’re highly assertive, a great communicator and an advocate for your needs. You always aim for a win-win solution. You’re on the right track!

  • 19–21: You get your needs met at the expense of others, concerned solely with your own feelings. You may use tactics such as yelling, door slamming or desk pounding. You should work on having a more conciliatory approach.

If you feel that assertiveness is one of your weaknesses, send me a private message. I’ll be glad to help you improve your communication skills and have healthy relationships, both personally and professionally.

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